How much can someone care for another person and keep getting dumped on. I understand that it is all attributed to a substance abuse problem this person has. But how long can the care stay valid and when does it just not matter anymore?
I think that the care is pretty much gone from my soul. When someone can't care enough for themselves they can't allow someone else to care for them. I am using care in place of the word love. What I am feeling now is not love for this person. But I do care for them. I know the love is there, it just needs to be nurtured and reignited. But that will not happen until this person starts to care and love themselves again.
Self destructive behavior is such a terrible thing to watch happen to a person. They fail to see it in themselves and the further down the hole they go. I can look around the house and I can see and feel that love is absent.
I now see that it is gone...and it is not coming back. It is time to move on. I cannot let the disease that is spreading through this house to effect me any longer. Life to too short to continue living in a negative space.
It has been one of the greatest learning experiences. I learned how to not resort to my previous self destructive ways that lead to actions that I would regret. What a wonderful learning experience....
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