Time to Follow my Heart...

I have spent a good deal of time recently reflecting on my life and remembering the times when I felt sincerely happy. I have thought about the times with my grandmother in her garden. There were the summers spent with grandpa in the backyard while he fiddled with projects in his shed. The cold winters at Blue River trout fishing with my best friend Bill. The yearly trips to South Padre Island to spend a week running freely in the beach and swimming in the ocean. But those are all memories from my childhood, things that I cannot retrieve and bring into my present day life.
Where are the times in my adult life, since moving from out of my parents house and to California, that I remember truly being happy? Then it comes to me...
About my third year out here I went over to Santa Cruz one day determined to learn how to surf. I rented a long board, drove down to 41st Ave and pulled on my Goodwill purchased wet suit and dove in. After some instruction from a man that would later become one of my best surfing buddies, I managed to stand up and catch my first ride...completely exhilarated, I paddled out again and again and again. I spent a total of six hours that day catching waves. I was hooked. But where does this come in as to finding my current happiness? It is because at the time, I had nothing. All I had was my 1972 VW Bus, my newly custom made long board, and myself. I had a small apartment with little to no furniture and a part time job doing customer service. But I was happy. All I had to worry about was being to work on time, paying what few bills I had (rent and phone), making sure there was gas in the bus, and if there was going to be surf that day. Life was simple. Surfing was my spirituality. The man who became my best friend out in the surf was an older Cherokee Indian that had moved to Capitola from Oklahoma ~40 years earlier. He was about 6'2", slender, white hair down to his waist, and the kindest, gentlest person to talk with.
So again, how do I apply this to the present?
Simplify! My heart keeps telling me what I already know. Stop chasing after the material things that everyone struggles to attain! My mind and my spirituality are things that NO ONE can take from me. Everything else, my things, my family, my friends...these can all be gone by tonight. But my mind, my spirit, that is mine.
I believe true friends and a close companion are important in a persons life. Recently I have evaluated who I called friend and came to see that I am lacking of friends with real substance. I almost list my best friend and my companion to a terrible disease. Thankfully he was able to see the need to get help and fight this battle and is doing very well. But for us both, it is still a long road ahead.
As for friends. I am terribly guarded with who I let in. It takes time and patience for me to feel the trust and chemistry that I need to open up and let someone close. The worst part about it all is that I live in a city where everyone feels the same way. A city full of facades and shallow acquaintances.

So again, where does this leave me with my initial questions? This is where...

1. I stop chasing after the "wants" in life. I have a wonderful cozy apartment that is filled with things that make it comfortable and welcoming to come home to.
2. I simplify my daily life. Things happen for a reason, I need to be flexible with how a day unfolds and presents itself. Most importantly, live in the present! The right here and right now!
3. True friends and companions will make themselves known, I need to be patient with this. I also know that I have some "issues" that I need to correct for this to happen.
4. Find a spirituality that works for me. It might be a little bit from several and I may not be able to tie myself to just one...but I believe this will make me whole.